There is a First For Everything

Although Michael Keaton has almost been relegated exclusively to voice over work the past decade, I often times harken back to some fond memories of some powerful movies.

• He made it okay for a generation of men to step aside and take care of the house and the kids in Mr. Mom (1983)
• He taught us, in Gung Ho (1984), that the Japanese would be changing our automobile industry
• If we said his name three times in Beetle Juice (1988), we wouldn’t have to call Ghostbusters
• He started the 20 year franchise whispering, “I’m Batman.” (1989) And was smart enough to jump ship before the introduction of Robin
• His portrayal of a sub-leaser in Pacific Heights (1990) made me never aspire to be a landlord
• Although he rounded off the 90’s with the movie Jack Frost (1998), it can’t diminish the work he did in My Life (1993)

I WAS MORE OF A MC LYTE FAN

My Life portrays a man diagnosed with terminal cancer while his wife is pregnant with their first boy.  He knows he is going to die, so he records important memories and important life stage conversations (like shaving) that he knows he is never going to have with his son.  Throw this in with Queen Latifah’s first mainstream role, and you have the making of a classic.

I AM SURPRISED THAT THEY DON'T HAVE A BUMPER STICKER THAT READS, "MY BABY IS IN THE 90TH PERCENTILE"

My children, 2 and 1, are not quite at the age that their brains are able to process a long term memory.  Although Harvard researchers have found that the magic age for long term memory is 12 months, they must not have studied every father’s belief that, “They are not going to remember this anyway,” when discussing what should be done for a first birthday party.

I believe that if I were not here tomorrow, I would simply be a voice behind a camcorder…an accidental glimpse in the corner of a picture…or a doctored family portrait taken at their milestone ages.  One of the goals with this blog was to provide my kids with a frame of reference on their father’s life and memories of them.

Up until my daughter turned one, most of her milestones were biological in nature.  First tooth, first haircut, first finger food, first time finally re-appearing on a Dr’s growth chart (only after substituting her milk with heavy whipping cream).  It first hit me how important all the psychological and physiological milestones where when I watched her learn to sit for the first time.  Everyone anticipates their kids crawling and then eventually walking, but for some reason watching my daughter try to negotiate sitting in a chair, I took all of it for granted.  Here are some other human milestones that I hope to be blessed to share one day with our grandchildren:

NO MATTER HOW MANY PICS WE TAKE TOGETHER, THIS WILL STAND AS MY FAVORITE

First Portrait of Her and Dad: One day I picked up a book and found that my typical plain  bookmark had been replaced with two smiley faces.  My daughter LJ had given me her first artistic rendering of her and daddy.  I was just happy that she sees me as a smiler.

First Chicken Nugget: The invention of the chicken McNugget and the McRib have changed my life forever.  I am not sure if there is any other injection molded meats that I have eaten more of.  My daughter never eats all of her nuggets and has not yet figured out the value of a dipping sauce, so I always steal the boot shaped nugget from her and use an entire barbecue sauce on it.  It will be a sad day when she eats all of her nuggets.

First Truth: Sometimes in life, you just don’t have clean underwear.  For men, wearing dirty underwear is a risk that we are willing to take.  Apparently, women will defer to no underwear rather than old underwear.  One day we are out of Tinkerbell underwear and my wife has my daughter to not wear any underwear at all.  It doesn’t phase my daughter and she didn’t even mention it until we are in a busy reception area where she declares to the first three people she sees that day that she isn’t wearing any underwear.

First Backfire: I came home one day from work with several colors on my hands from permanent markers.  For LJ, marking on her own hands with markers typically ends in the removal of said markers and timeout.  My daughter noticed the marks on my hands and started to reprimand me as if I were caught doing something bad.  She informed me that I deserved time out and a spanking.  She is apparently harder on others than she is on herself.  This is obviously my first, “Do as I say, not as I do,” moment.

First Discipline: Watching my 2.5 year old daughter take direction for the first time in dance class was a sight to be seen.  As much as Miley Cyrus’s Party in the USA makes me want to cry tears of blood, Butterfly Fly Away had me crying tears of joy.  Something as simple as watching her follow a 90 degree piece of tape can be an overwhelming experience.  Combine timed movement with a song about a father and daughter and you have an out of body experience that takes you to the dance that will inevitably happen the day you give her away.

First Lie: One day I was dropping LJ off at dance class, and an older girl explained to her that she had a birthday cake in her dance bag.  With sarcastic precision, the older girl reached into her bag and pulled out an empty hand and said, “Just kidding.”  LJ looked at me with confusion and I realized I don’t have the ability to always protect her;  Not only the first lie she’s been told while I was standing with her, but the thousands more that she will inevitably have to face alone.  One caveat; I do know that the first time she either recognizes or uses sarcasm, it will be a proud day for daddy.

EXHIBIT A: FACES HAVE BEEN BLACKED OUT TO PROTECT THE INNOCENT. LJ IS CIRCLED IN WHITE, FROZEN ON THE MAGIC CARPET.

First Performance: Something that you need to understand if you have not grown up in a dance family: More work is put into the season end dance recital than most Broadway productions.  During her rehearsal for Magic Carpet Ride, she never got off the carpet to join the other dancers.  (See Exhibit A.)  She just refused to get in the game.  When I asked her why she failed to get off the carpet, she said that a girl pushed her and she was so upset that she couldn’t dance.  I didn’t know that this type of disappointment in life could start so early.

First Performance Pep Talk: I had to orchestrate my daughter’s first pep-talk to ensure that she participated in her dance recital.  Having a pep talk with a 2.5 year old is really difficult because they live in the here and now.  Trying to talk about something that doesn’t involve cake or bubbles within a 24 hour future period is difficult.  It is like telling your dog you are going to wait to take it on a walk the following day.  Their concept of a Julian calendar day just doesn’t exist.

First Performance Bribe: For fear that the pep talk was doomed to fail, I went to Target’s dollar section and bought several toddler friendly toys to make sure I had some positive reinforcement for recital participation.

First Performance Wardrobe Malfunction: The moment had come, time to get off her carpet and line up and finish her dance.  She at least stood up, but a mid stage collision with another girl caused a tiara explosion.  LJ froze standing two feet from the carpet trying to fix her costume.  I learned that even a bribe isn’t powerful enough for an uncontrollable situation.

My 15 month old son has (just in the last week) successfully negotiated the human ability to sit in a chair.  I am excited to see some of those “firsts” from the perspective of father and son.

My almost three year old daughter already has a leg up.  Every night, when my wife and I tuck her in, we ask her “LJ, who is always with you?”  She takes her pacifier out of her mouth and moves her bunny away from her face and says, “God.”

After Michael Keaton’s character passes away in My Life, we get a glimpse of a young child watching his father reading a Dr. Seuss book to him from a television. One of my favorite things about being a father is reading my kids a good Dr. Seuss book at bedtime.  I don’t remember the first time I read to her, but I often wonder about the time she no longer wants me to read.   I pray that I am able to recognize those milestones that usher in a new chapter in my childrens’ lives.  I know that every day I am with my children, I have to let go of them just a little bit.  I just might have to order my own chicken McNuggets.

,

Brian

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.  Proverbs 22:6 (King James Version)